No one stays the same

 Transitions and change are tricky. Even when the change is something you're excited for there are complicated emotions that like to seep out and spill into our interactions with others. When a family is going through change together it can be a challenge for parents to keep everyone in line without losing it themselves.

The key here, I find, is grace. Not the token prayer said around some tables before a meal, but interacting with each other with forgiveness. “Hey, I'm sorry I was really snippy with you there. I was offside.” “I know things are stressful right now, I didn't mean to add to it.”

No person is without blame, no person holds sole responsibility; it's just understanding and giving space to allow those feelings to sit a while and move along. No excuses, just perspective taking.

Being able to see where the other person's point of view is and how learning how to respond in a positive way is a skill that doesn't come naturally to most people unless it is fostered from a very young age. Being able to look and say to yourself “I remember how I felt when this thing happened with my parents, and I just heard my parent's voice from my mouth just then” and then go and talk it out and apologize; that takes some significant self-awareness and humility.

Growing up my family moved a lot. Growing up we had a lot of personalities in the house because the family was big. When you have that many people and that much change, even when the change is positive there is still a lot of stress. Most days everything is good, some parts of the day are rough. I remember crying a lot, missing old friends, wishing we lived in the old place. But every change that happened in my past has helped form me into who I am today; and I have to say that I'm pretty happy overall with how I am.

The last few weeks in my house have been filled with change and transitions, and everyone reacting and responding to what is coming ahead. My evenings (and my spouse's) have been spent with our not-so-little monsters talk out the complicated emotions that are expected with the big shifts that are ahead of us. No one stays the same in this life; we are all constantly changing and that is good. It's necessary. It's how we respond to the change that will shape us into the person we like being at the end of the journey.