Jumbled Together

 When I think about things I want to say about parenting and raising, children I get messed up. I start off strong but then about halfway through my words just jumble. There are erudite thoughts and methods just waiting to come out, they just need to be organized. This week alone I've started a new post at least 3 times, each going about 3 or 4 paragraphs before I get jumbled up and I find myself word-searching for the best way to phrase something. Then I find myself word-repeating and I can't stand it.

There are thoughts on gentle parenting (I'm finding there are very few who actually do it, instead they use permissive or soft parenting. This isn't the same thing at all). There are thoughts about the need to tailor-make our interactions with others (children and family in particular) because we are all unique and there is no one-size-fits-all for being in a relationship with people. There are thoughts about how to raise children daily while maintaining those disciplines when it's absolutely exhausting and giving in would so much easier (spoiler- don't give in to these urges, at least as much as possible. The cost later in life when you're dealing with behaviour with older children is much greater).

As I navigate and map out my points and how to articulate them, I hope to cover these and more. Things that make sense when working with and helping raise little humans that will have long-lasting benefits instead of repercussions.

As a whole, we aren't doing poorly. There are things everyone can improve on. Previous generations have done the best they could with the tools at their disposal. As our world lens shifts and as we learn more about child development, I'd like to think that we can add more tools to our toolbox that will help create a new generation that will continue to add tools to their toolboxes.

We can only take steps when we see there's a need to. And there's a need to.

Trust the Process

I was talking with a friend recently about my habit of picking things up but not finishing them. I'm getting better at it as I get older, and I can recognize the pattern and discipline myself to complete things, but the habit is there. There are times I will have an idea for a project and not even start it because I'm afraid I won't follow through to the end. So to avoid that feeling of defeat when I look at or think of that unfinished project I simply don't start it at all. Which is a shame because I enjoy the process so much.

That reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend years ago about knitting. I recall asking her if she knit because she enjoyed seeing the completed project, or if she knit because she simply enjoyed the process of creating. I had noticed there were a couple of projects on the go and she would pick up one or the other when there was time for it. Her response was that she enjoyed the process and then she turned the question around and asked me the same. I don't know why I ask these things if I don't want to answer them myself... lol. But it made me think that, perhaps, my endless starting of things is that they're fun and interesting and I learn something from it but then the finished product can be critiqued. And I don't enjoy the scrutiny.

How many times do we give up before we've started? Admit defeat before we've engaged in the battle? What would history look like if everyone did that?

I challenge you to take the step to start the thing that's keeping you from living your fullest life. Even if the thing is started, put down for a bit, picked up for a bit, put down for a bit, picked up... you get the drift. It might never be completed. Or you might one day stop and look back and think “Good heavens, I did it.” Either way, the practice of doing, learning, and taking those steps is never wasted. It's all experiences that we can learn from.

In the end, it's our experience and our relationships that make us unique.

Life Goals

 This idea has been percolating in my mind for a while now. I've done a bit of research about how to start up, what's needed for a basis, and where my strengths lay in terms of what I have that people might possibly find of value. My own inner critic has been the biggest reason why I haven't taken the plunge yet, but I need to listen to the urging of my soul. This is why I'm wading into the waters of coaching/consulting.

When I see how people struggle in their lives with their relationships (with themselves, their children, their spouses, and their parents) it makes my heart hurt. Often the biggest thing people are missing is an objective person devoting their attention to helping them figure out what steps are needed to help them start living out their potential. There is so little we have true control over except ourselves – what happens if we take control of that self and see how far our dreams can take us?

Many aspects of people's lives get wound up in the every day; our relationships with spouse/partner, how we handle our parents, and how we raise (or wish we raised) our children.  Is our life as balanced as we'd like it to be?  What parts of ourselves are we ignoring?  How can we effectively communicate with those who matter most? 

Throughout this next chapter of my life, I'm hoping to help parents approach parenting with new eyes.  I hope to increase meaningful communication between partners, create awareness of where the balance in life should be for each individual (since each person is unique), and help set achievable goals for life.